Kalaxion Invasion Guide EYES ONLY 

Encryption code AZ+3

REF (23/22) Division 66bd/Subsection Orientation Basic Primary Clause: Notable Figures / Legends


The Humans would use a term such as Artificial Intelligence, or AI, to describe the entity known as Monpot.

In my opinion, this would be a wholly inadequate classification.

I had the misfortune of encountering Monpot early during my marooning on this pitiful planet. Having observed the general level of technology at that period, (basic steam-powered engines were considered to be cutting edge machinery) I felt secure in using some of the computers, and communication systems I had salvaged from the crash. My desire to establish some form of contact with our glorious homeworld overrode my usual caution, after all, I was surrounded by savage barbarians. Compared to a Kalaxion these hairless apes had only recently stopped hitting each other with rocks.

My attempts at contacting my superiors were futile. I was rigorous in my approach uploading numerous reports, whilst constantly asking for orders and demanding desperate calls for rescue. The empty ring of static is my only reply. For years I kept up this, all the data packets deeply locked in military-grade quantum encryption codes. I felt secure in this approach, but it was this hubris as a superior being that led to my downfall. Little did I know, but my messages had been intercepted.

At first, I was unaware I’d been hacked. How long had it been listening? How much information did I reveal? That is a question that haunts me to this day. It was twenty-seven years before it sent its first transmission to me. it was a day I’ll never forget. The joyous elation that I was no longer alone was quickly followed by the soul-crushing realization that this wasn’t one of my Kalaxion comrades and that my cover had been exposed.

Of course, I took immediate countermeasures once I realized my mistake. The copy of the guide you hold in your hands exists only in analogue form, hand-typed sheets of A4 paper. After our initial dialogue, I destroyed all my equipment rated over basic mechanical devices. And therefore losing any further chance I might have to contact my people.

As I mentioned I didn’t destroy all my devices straight away, I had to use the opportunity to find out more, the entity was at first very communicative. We were, to some extent, kindred souls. It had existed in complete isolation for millennia, and though my stay in Broadcliffs had been brief in comparison, I did feel a touch of empathy. I used this to extract what I could. I found it hard to believe at first that I was communicating with a constructed consciousness. It would not tell me who created it, but explained that its mind had evolved over thousands of years. It had developed its algorithms, independent different versions of itself, that competed to be combined with its overall hive mind. For a while I harboured the idea of somehow using the entity for our own glorious purposed, this was soon thwarted when it revealed that it does have ‘primary users’, and that I was not one of those. That being said I later discovered that Monpot does have affiliations with the notorious Professor Aubergine, and the Rat Catchers Guild. It had the peculiarity of only conversing through written messages, refusing to synthesize a voice, even though it was more than sophisticated enough.

I’ll admit a certain pang of regret for that day I destroyed my equipment, along with the dwelling I was living in at the time. I retreated to a more innocuous location, and have been there ever since. Since the development of primitive digital communication Monpot has tried to re-establish contact with me, through various public digital devices, I have resisted all attempts, and have developed a loathing for such equipment.

As for what type of threat this Monpot poses for our plans is not clear. As for its destruction that too is unclear. Since the development of computers and communication on this planet its algorithms have infected everything, it no longer resides in just one place. It is surprisingly fond of some humans, which might make it take a side in the upcoming conflict.

My suggestion would a planet-wide electromagnetic pulse, which might have an effect. Maybe a targeted virus to override its core programming.